If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
