uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She tied me up with her honor cords...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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