so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
