Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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