when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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