I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
