you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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