I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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