Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
