Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
