Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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