Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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