Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
