Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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