Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
