You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
