Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
