i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Dignity is for republicans.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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