Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
