is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
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