hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
If that was your dad, he is hot
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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