Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
