please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
His hands were made for my vagina.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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