Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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