I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
