plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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