I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
