He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
