I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My ATM looks so different sober.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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