Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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