im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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