i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
