We're like a lot better than the average bears
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
These tits shall not be calmed
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize