marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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