i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
