Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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