Having a random hookup so left but love u
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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