bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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