if i can run in heels then i can drive
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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