I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
