hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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