honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
