i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
