Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
