i would punch a child for taco bell
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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