three words: i give head
three words: not that well
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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