we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
