remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize