Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
