So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
