Define "chronic" masturbator.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
