The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
