This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
