Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
