stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
