I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
