I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
They are going to name an STD after you.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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