Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
