Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I puked a lego.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
